how i overcame depression
8.3 out of 10
viewed 8309 times
I had troubled teenage yrs, mostly in hindsight due to lack of self esteem /confidence caused by wearing braces, having bad skin and being relativly flat chested (although at the time i did not realise this) ... I felt like an ugly ducking, I had always been an attractive child (so im told!!) and felt the transional yrs toward adulthood very diffficult... I did the classic drinking too much, smoking, sleeping with too many people, late nights... shocking my parents etc.... I ended up leaving home and pregnant at 15 and gave birth when i was 16 .... My baby was stillborn and this led me into a downward spiral of depression, self hate, self destruction and bolemia bulemia. I was prone to emotional outburst, shouting panic attacks and feeling of no self control or power. i felt like the world was a dark and cruel place. i did many things i now greatly regret but understand that this was all part of my mental state at the time and part of the process of getting through what had gone before... depression seems to insist you sink to your lowest depths before being able to emerge on the other side.
how i recovered
I had many destructive, similar damaged friends but also was lucky enough to have a a couple of positive influences... I think my turning point was acknowledging what was happening ... my dad insisted i see the g.p ,who diagnosed fluxotine which i did not at first take. A youth /community worker helped me write some positive affirmations which i stuck on my bedsit door and i think rereading these really helped reprogramme or realign myself discover or rediscover my capablities, my potential etc, they helped me to see that you have a choice in life and you can choose to make yourself better from depression but only when you are ready to see that. i think from this time onward i grew stronger i went back to college as evening classes and did my a-levels at the same time i got an administrative job. It was hard to remain committed to both of these as depression still loomed in the background but i felt like i had an anchor at last. i still moved around never being in the same place for long and lived in many different shared houses and bedsits, even a couple of squats. however my commitment to getting better never went. The next pivotal time i can think of was when i decided to stop abusing my body with various drugs and excessive drinking and i moved away from the urban life I had been used to away from destructive influences etc. i am now very settled 11 yrs on i have gone from strength to strength i have nearly completed my degree, i have four lovely precious children and have a complete and fulfilling life. i work as a youth worker and hope i will be able to provide the kind of support that i had received when i was "lost". i got married six yrs ago to my partner of the past 10 yrs. he was also on the road to recovery from his own "story "of alcholoism/anger issues and deppression. although our path has not always been easy we both know the depths of depression - the associated problems and self medication and ensure that neither of us will "go under" we are bring up our children in a world of open love and ensuring as far as possible that their mental health is protected.
key things that helped me
Recognising i was lovable
Understanding that things were not all my fault (forgiving myself if they were)
Regular sleep times
Recognising my potential
Support from some familiy and friend
Positive affirmations dispalyed somewhere i saw them regularly
Getting back in the loop of real life...slowly
Not letting setbacks stop me ...stay committed to getting better
This recovery story is in categories: Bulemia, Depression, Eating Disorders